The Truth

It has been exactly one year that the “12 week Transformation” thing happened, and I found myself reflecting all week upon it. Looking where I am now, what am I doing now, where am I at now and it all affected me. At the time I got down to 84kgs, I was starting to develop actual shaped muscles and believed that having a “good body” would make me feel good about myself, and at the time I thought this was true. Flash forward 12 months later and I actually believe the opposite, I am now 93kgs (yes 9 kilos heavier!) and I am happy.

I am happy that I don’t spend hours everyday at the gym, that I don’t spend what little time I have obsessing over every calorie I consume and what it is doing to my body. I can’t believe that I was ever so selfish and narrow minded that I thought life was about making myself look good to get the approval of other people, and this in lies the real heart of the matter. I was consistently posting “selfie updates” on Instagram, Facebook & Twitter, feeding off the likes and comments, my head swelling and turning into this gargantuan egotistical maniac fuelled by the approval of others, to feel accepted, to feel normal.

It felt like I was back in high school again and definitely not the person I had set out to be. Now before you start jumping to conclusions I met some amazing people and made life-long friendships through doing this, I do not regret what I did, but I do see the holes in it, and know that looking good is not an instant thing that will last forever, it is bloody hard work and not something to be taken lightly.

While it may sound like I am trash talking fitness and losing weight, I have made many life long friends through it, and that is something I will always be grateful for. I am as happy now as I was when I was 9 kilos lighter and that is something that surprised me. So what really does this prove? It proves that you can have be skinny and have a 6 pack if that’s what you want, I don’t want that. Sure I am still going to work on my body but I love food too much to have the “perfect” physique. I am prepared to do enough work to warrant eating burgers and fries, while not being morbidly obese, I am happy with the body I have and that is fine with me.

If you want to kickstart your body, do a 12 week challenge but be prepared to invest your money, your time, your patience for a great kickstart, but be prepared to learn maintenance work to keep the body you have gained, if not it is easy to slip back into old habits. So I guess for me the Truth is that I want working out to be a social thing, so group classes, boot camps and group training sessions are going to be my thing moving forward, it’s where I can make working out fun without being too aggressive about it and maintain my fitness.

What is your truth?

Welcome!

So here it is! A few days before the start of the 12 week challenge and I find myself oddly excited. For those that do not know let me explain. The 12 week challenge is being hosted by my gym Genesis who are running a competition to transform your body in 12 weeks. Contestants hold themselves accountable by attending at least one personal training session a week, group fitness sessions, meal plans, expert advice from a nutritionist and a whole bunch of support that is incredible value for money.

This week I have been doing a kind of final farewell to my favourite foods, not that I plan to eliminate them completely from my life, but I do plan to hold them into seriously accountable moderation and release their grip on my emotional dependence. Tonight I had an entire 458ml tub of Ben & Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk (ice cream of the gods in my opinion!) before this I had a massive pile of spaghetti with a vegetable pasta sauce that I was close to inhaling. Not really anything of interest but am just getting into the habit of this food diary thing (yaay!) oh and I had a cup of coffee with 2 sugars and a handful of snake lollies…

So who the hell am I? My name is Alaisdair Dewar, I am 31 years young, living in Newcastle, NSW (Australia) and I have been overweight/fat/obese/addicted to food for 10 years now. Looking at it, it is such a scary number…10 years of no control over what I eat, 10 years of not giving a crap about what I looked like because I truly believed that it is ONLY what is on the inside that counts. Now before you discount me as a shallow so and so, I do believe that a lot of what makes us great people is what is on the inside, but there is truth in the saying that the outside reflects what is inside. I spent so many years letting my clothes, my hair style, my face, my whole outward thing just got ignored while I went on a search for balance and to find out what I was on the inside as a person.

While I can say this inward journey is still a major work in progress, I can’t deny that I have let myself go…a lot. I have a horrendous diabetes inducing, cholesterol clogging diet that it really should be studied how I am still breathing. I have a massive gut, two massive side haunches, back fat, leg fat, thigh fat, and a pigeon chest added in there just to give me something else to work out. Oh I nearly forgot the triple chin and swollen face!

Why am I telling you all of this? It is simple, this journey is about honesty, it is about change, it is not about some “Biggest Loser” instant gratifying situation, but rather a journey to change my life. I have spent the last 3 months at the gym preparing my body for this. I have had 3 personal training sessions a week, have attempted some boot camps (extremely unsuccessfully!) but all in all I have changed a little bit. I have learned to deal with the overwhelming amount of pain and burn that you feel after brutal sessions that have left me wanting to quit there and then.

I will be updating this close to daily about what is happening, showcasing photos of my progress and even a fortnightly podcast (with hopefully some special guests!) to talk about what is happening and apart from keeping me accountable for everything that is happening, maybe inspire a few people out there who are doing this as well.

So keep checking back, I will be updating more about myself and history as much as I can. To the other contestants of #YNB good luck! You have never met anyone with more motivation and determination to win this nationally as me so you better bring it! Good luck, hope you all make it through the first few weeks as well as possible.