RIP Fatty

Happy Easter Weekend! Well that’s what I thought, until I had to come home thursday night to a pt session, then another one friday morning, then an arvo gym session, then boot camp first thing Saturday morning (in the beach AND on the sand omg!!!) then another pt session. Are you serious? OW OW OW OW OW ! I am in complete agony over this after what was meant to be a relaxing weekend, has turned out to be the complete opposite.

I have a couple of things to talk about this weekend, one is bad, one is good, so let’s start with the bad. This morning at boot camp was in the sand, everything is harder in the sand! My feet feel like they are about to fall off and I have more sand in my ass than Lybia, but I made it through. One part of boot camp was games, now there are two things you need to know about me. Gays and sport do not mix, but on the other side of that I am a horribly competitive person, I am meant, I am fierce, I am ferocious and nothing will get in my way. So when it comes to competitive games I try and keep a distance to keep this ugly side of my personality hidden.

The ball game was happening and all of a sudden I just flashed back to high school. I know what you’re thinking oh god really? And you know what, I thought exactly the same thing, seriously I’m 30 now, why am I so concerned about what happened in high school? Haven’t I moved on from that? Aren’t I a completely different person now than what I was? Seriously Alaisdair what the f? But the memories of being really bad at sports, being laughed at and bullied at my overall inept ability to play any kind of sport came flooding back and it made me feel really bad about myself.

Seriously? What is going on brain? What, I have tried draining you of other reasons to be depressed, you will just automatically find new ways to creep it in? Seriously? No answer came…then the thought of well maybe this is a legit thing, maybe I haven’t moved on from that hurt, maybe it all just got pushed away and it took something this small to unlock it?

Breakfast! Ah my saturday morning breakfast’s with my boot camp buddies is the highlight of my week, everyone is so funny and so much fun to be around it just inspires me and I love it so much.

Then moving onto the gym for a gruelling 1 hour p.t. session. Sigh why do I do this to myself? So after a big core day (ow!) we decided to do measurements for fun and see in 9 weeks how I was travelling. (Don’t worry this is the good!) I have lost 10 cms off my chest, 7 cms off my hips, a WHOPPING 17 cms off my stomach, lost 13 kilos, gone down 2 pants sizes and 2 shirt sizes. Seriously? SERIOUSLY? I can’t believe it! It has been so hard and I am exhausted, but I know I have 3 weeks left of this challenge to go and this change is in me for life.

I know I was flippant before about was this really a change, but I believe that this is something that I really want, this is something that I am willing to work hard for, and although I would have liked faster results, I really can’t complain about what I have achieved so far.

All I can say is that I am immensely proud of myself and how I look right now, I am a completely different person on the outside and that is a good thing. I have decided that as of 4:36pm Saturday the 19th of April 2014, I am no longer a fatty, I am no longer allowed to call myself a “fatty” “fat” or “obese” I have worked so hard for this, if I refer to myself as this, it is an insult to all of the hard work and hours (and MONEY!) I have put into this challenge and this change.

Goodbye Fatty! It was a horrible 10 years of abuse and I promise that I will NEVER allow you to become like that again. Thank you to Levi for putting up with me, for taking care of me through this whole thing and never making me feel like an idiot (although there were times I would have looked like one!) Meeting you changed my life and no amount of money can ever repay what you have done for both my body and my mind. You are my brother and I am so honoured to have you in my life. To my friends who stood by me during this time and made sure I was ok and for being unrelenting with your support, to the “friends” who stopped talking to me during this thank you for making me realise that you are not a true friend at all – moving on has been fantastic! thanks for that 🙂 To my family for being supportive and loving and listening to my calls every time I lose a little bit of weight or reach some new achievement (my poor brother in particular copped the brunt of these phone calls!) But mainly I want to thank the new me, for grabbing a sword and slaying the old me into tiny little pieces so he can never return, for not giving up when I was tired and grumpy, for sticking with my seemingly bland food plan even though it goes against every foodie molecule in my being, thank you for showing me who I truly am and putting this fatty to rest!

 

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