This week I tried to do one thing, to not look or talk about myself in a negative manner. This lasted about 2 minutes before the thoughts of self loathing and hate crept back in and surprise surprise, I found myself heading down the usual shame spiral. So I decided to take it one step further and buy some “fitted” clothes, as of now all of my clothes hang off me and look like they belong to a clown.
Off I went after work to Zara in Bondi to try some fitted clothes for work, I went 2 sizes down what I normally would and guess what? They fit and they look AMAZING! I know it sounds braggy but it’s true! I looked in the mirror and for the first time I am going to say in my life, I was happy with how I looked. I took a selfie (of course!) to capture the moment and I can’t stop looking at it.
Today I dared to tempt fate and on my exercise route, ran down Oxford Street to Daly Male and tried on two shirts that are M..that is M for MEDIUM and while in the change room praying for them to fit, they easily slid over my head and didn’t cling to me. They fit perfectly. Now here is the embarrassing part, I first of all screamed, and then I cried, and I don’t mean a few lovely tears and a nodding glance to the sky, I mean I broke down in the dressing room and sobbed. I covered my mouth and tried to stifle them as much as I could, seriously who am I?
I managed to compose myself enough to walk out of the shop with the two t shirts and run straight home to try them on again to make sure that they still fit and it wasn’t some crazy coincidence. This is actually working and I look good! I got a hair cut, new clothes to match my new body and I can honestly say that it was worth every missed ice cream night, every hamburger I skipped, all the time I spent working out when I could have been doing other things has been completely worth it.
It is scary to think that there is only 3 weeks of this challenge left! I can’t imagine how it is going to end, but I am happy with the effort I have put in, and the results I have already are blowing my mind.