Welcome To Brick Wall, Population ME!

Sometimes I should just shut up, is what I have been telling myself for the last few days. Ever since I wrote my last post about loving the gym and it not feeling like a chore…dun dun da dun! It starts becoming one! I made it through my Thursday session (barely!) then Friday it was like I was hit with a massive lazy stick and just couldn’t get motivated or care about what I was doing. I was even at the gym till 8:30pm on friday night, FRIDAY NIGHT PEOPLE! Seriously? ? ? Who am I?

Saturday morning, alarm goes off at 7am…nope, no way, no way on this Earth is my body letting me wake up and get up to do exercise, no way mister you were at the gym last night, I am tired, I am sore, I need recovery time, it hasn’t even been 12 hours yet, there is no way in hell I am working for you today, so you can just lie here in bed and drink your coffee and watch Scandal and then go to work.

This is the mantra that echoed through my brain this morning and I gave in. I was too tired, to exhausted, to depleted of energy to care enough about myself to get out of bed and go to boot camp. So I didn’t, I had a lovely relaxing morning and even now this afternoon the thought of doing a workout just makes me want to curl up into a ball and cry in my very comfy bed.

I had lunch with Levi to try and get some motivation, but all I felt was guilt and this led me to not feel like doing it even more. Seriously sometimes I question who wired my brain when it was made, and if they still have a job!

To top it all off, I was so hungry and exhausted last night that the good old Shapes sung out at me again from the pantry at around midnight, so true to form I gave in and this time I only ate the box. This may not sound like progress, but for me it really is.

So this morning my guilt ridden body accepted the cup of coffee and no breakfast, with half a chicken salad wrap and banana smoothie for lunch and I prayed for it to work overtime to churn all of this through so I can start tomorrow fresh and undo any damage that it may have inflicted on my body.

The main thing that concerns me is, what if I wake up tomorrow and I still feel like this? What if I wake up and I am still unmotivated to go to the gym, so I don’t and then there is two days right there. I know, I know the whole ‘”first world problems” thing is going around your head right now isn’t it? If I may, I am going to impose on your my thoughts on the “first world problems”thought process. For years people have been crying about their problems, discussing, them, whinging about them, attempting to deal with them, and to other people everyone’s problems mean something in a different way.

My issue with people throwing around the phrase “first world problems”is that it is kind of a shrug off and justification for their feelings. They are saying “I really care about this issue, but because it is not bad compared to other parts of the world affected by starvation and homelessness, I am not as important so just shrug it off”and while I do appreciate this perspective, I truly believe that everyone’s “problems”related to us individually and should be valued as such.

I am hoping for a better night sleep tonight and to wake up tomorrow feeling rested and energetic. I won’t hold my breath but I am hoping for the best.

Anyone else feeling like this?


One thought on “Welcome To Brick Wall, Population ME!

  1. I TOTALLY agree with your thoughts on the whole “first world problems” business. Someone else’s struggles shouldn’t negate our own.
    With that being said, there are SO many “what-ifs”, not just in the fitness game, but in the whole big picture. I understand where you’re coming from and have definitely had those same thoughts, but you just need to have faith in yourself that deep down you know what needs to be done. Sometimes it’s necessary to take a step back for a day or two, or even a week, to realize why we were working on these things before.
    Keep at it and don’t let a couple of off-days throw you off your game. You’ll get back in there

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