4 kilos down…

So here it is, week 4, nearly at the month mark, I am 4 kilos lighter but am sore in every part of my body, tired and grouchy all the time but I am starting to feel a difference. My pigeon like chest has started forming muscle mass and while they are hardly pumping pecs, they are a lot better than what they were. 

What is surprising me most of all is how much my mind is taking a beating as well, I know that my mind is strong and can withstand anything after what I have been through, but this is really taking a toll. I am finding myself just completely shattered when I get home, not just physically but my brain is just complete mush. I am going to bed earlier and the constant ache in my body is starting to get annoying, especially when at work in a physical job all day. 

This morning as I munched on a brownie I forbid myself an hour earlier from eating I got to thinking about everything that has changed in the last four weeks, I barely recognise the person I am now and if I keep at this in 6 months time imagine what my life will be like, even 12 months! 

There is a lot that is going to change in my life in the next few months, and although it is really frightening, I do recognise that I have become comfortable and complacent and this is not a good thing. Anyone who knows me personally will know that I am not good at waiting for things, I keep getting told “You have to wait for the right time” “Things happen when they are meant to, you cannot make it happen” I am starting to find that this is a complete load of shit. My plans for my future are controlled by me and while my body and mind may be exhausted and going through big changes, I cannot sit back and just let it happen anymore. 

So here is to writing more, to loving more, to connecting more, to doing more of what I love, to take a massive leap of faith and do the thing that I want to do. 

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